


House of Mirrors

by The_White_Rabbit42



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Coercion, Dark Loki, F/M, Implied Smut, Imprisonment, Mind Games, NSFW, dark themes, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 07:07:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16279958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_White_Rabbit42/pseuds/The_White_Rabbit42
Summary: You make a deal with a trickster god, but do you really know what you’ve gotten into?





	House of Mirrors

**Author's Note:**

> Written for tumblr celebration Octoberfest. Follow me there at @thewhiterabbit42
> 
> Saeta is icelandic for "sweetie" and what I headcanon as Loki's version of "sweetheart."

You didn’t like to be alone with them.  

 

_ “You’re not him,” you breathed.   _

 

_ He looked like him, sounded like him, but this being stood tall,  _ **_proud_ ** _ , and despite how he towered over you, his presence filled the space far more subtly than Gabriel’s ever could.  _

 

_ His eyes raked down your blood soaked form, the pain so fresh it still echoed beneath your skin.  “No. I’m  _ **_not_ ** _.”  _

 

There was nothing outwardly wrong with the antique mirrors.  They had been beautiful, once, and you could only imagine how elegant they were with pristine glass and fresh, extravagant gold trim.  Now they were faded, their surfaces hazy with several spots worn dull, a testament to their age. 

 

_ He did a slow stalk around you, a severity flickering through his being that created a sharpness - in gold, along his features, within the very silence that hung heavily between you.   _

 

_ He vanished behind you, his breath stirring across your hair as he finally spoke.  “All life comes with a price. The question is, are you willing to pay it?” _

 

There was no reason for you to be wary of them, other than the fact there were so damn many.  They sat evenly spaced along every wall, across each ceiling, affording a view of every inch of every room.  Your only escape was in the shower, obscured behind frosted glass doors that covered everything but your head.

 

You’d never understand his fascination with them.

 

_ You couldn’t help but notice the difference in gold.  Warm, sunny fields were replaced with dying autumn pastures, and you had enough sense to recognize, as he spun his web, that everything that came from his tongue was frost-kissed silver  _

 

_ Despite this, there was only one answer you could give. _

 

_ “Yes,” you whispered. _

 

_ “Are you certain?  My fantasies are darker than you think, my dear…” _

 

At first you thought maybe you just didn’t like to be alone.  You’d lost track of how many weeks of deprivation within these walls it took for you to warm up to him.  Twelve? Twenty? A hundred?

 

_ His touch seared through the thin fabric of your shirt, the chaotic fluctuation of his power swirling around you.  If you closed your eyes, if you focused just enough, you could almost pretend it was your angel.  _ **_Almost._ ** _  His drive to take ownership was just as stifling as his energy, and a constant reminder of who he really was.   _

 

_ You went stiff before his lips could meet yours, and he stopped.  His breath furled across your face once. Twice. Each second he stood there agonizing as you waited for his wrath.   _

 

_ It never came.   _

 

_ Relief wove through caution as you opened your eyes, and he took a step back.  He placed a single finger against your skin, curling it possessively beneath your chin.   _

 

_ “You don’t want this yet, but you will,” he promised, withdrawing his touch completely.  “Until then,” his eyes slipped past your shoulder, and in one of the mirrors you caught him staring into your reflection.  “I can settle for enjoying the view.”  _ ****

 

It no longer mattered.  He was everything. Your keeper.  Lover. Master. Protector. He was as much the leash around your neck as he was the one thing that would ensure you were never caged again.  Not because you were always good. Not even a god could instill absolute obedience in you. 

 

_ It wasn’t one of your better days.  Instead of relief, his presence infuriated you.  You felt the familiar burn of resentment rising in the back of your throat, mixing with the confusing taste of your existential captivity to form a cloying and caustic cocktail your tongue eagerly tossed back at him.   _

 

_ “I never would have pegged  _ **_you_ ** _ to be the one with the mirror kink.”     _

 

_ He grabbed your face, his grip just shy of bruising.  The wildfire in his eyes suggested you were lucky this was all he was doing.  He had yet to hurt you. He had sworn he never would, so long as you never betrayed him, but it was on days like this that you pushed to see just how true that was.   _

 

_ His thumb traced a warning across your mouth, conflicting desires creating a satisfying turmoil within his eyes.  “You know better than to speak of him.”  _

 

_ He pushed against the seam of your lips, and they parted in false acquiescence.  The moment his finger passed your teeth you bit down, an antagonistic gleam within your gaze.  His hand jerked back, and he stared down at a small spot of red that seeped out of one of the indentations in his skin.  Disbelief muted amber, his features darkening as he sent you a scathing look.  _

 

_ Your hands smoothed seductively up his chest, and everything inside of him rose to the surface to meet your touch.  A rush of desire and emotion sent his energy into a tailspin, and the free fall sparked a thrill that arched through you like a live wire.  Everything about Gabriel had been soft and sweet, including his grace, but this being before you was pure fire; primal, fierce, a complete force of nature clamoring to be unleashed.      _

 

_ In contrast you were quiet, a subtle, mocking lilt overtaking your tone.  “What are you going to do about it?” _

 

_ Without letting him respond, you shoved him, sending him stumbling into a nearby table.  His arms reached back, catching himself just in time as something visibly snapped within his gaze.   _

 

_ You waited for the world to go up in flames, and you with it. _

 

_ One second passed.   _

 

_ Then another. _

 

_ And another... _

 

_ “What am I going to do?”  The storm on his face stilled to an eerie calm, and it was one of the most terrifying things you had ever seen.   _

 

_ You blinked, and the room gave a dizzying whirl as he pounced, slamming you down across the solid wood surface you’d just sent him into.  You grunted, his power flowing through the thin barrier of his vessel, thickening the air around you and making it harder to take in.  _

 

_ He grappled with your skirt, and most days the long, flowing dresses he preferred made you feel like a Greek goddess.  Today, it was just another aggravation. As angry as you were, you didn’t fight him. You welcomed him, your legs already parting before he had the fabric up over your waist.  Instead of settling between them as you expected, he dropped to his knees, his eyes just visible over the curve of your stomach.  _

 

_ “I’m going to make it so I’m the only one you’ll ever think about again.” _

 

You were both caught in a game neither of you planned to lose.  He had yet to bend you to his will, and you had yet to forget. So on you danced, bound by stubbornness as much as the pact you’d made.  Somehow you always ended up back here, where it all began, in your little house of mirrors.

 

You rapped your hand along that same table, remembering how many times he made you call his name from on top of it, and how little you’d been able to speak the next day.  Memories of him, his touch, his skin and heat, of every sensation he’d ever imparted were imprinted on every surface, every piece of furniture, in every possible space. 

 

Yet, you never thought of your archangel more than you did when you were here.  

 

_ You awoke, pulling the sheets higher over your body, awareness of those cursed objects tingling over your skin even as you slept.  Despite the presence beside you, you felt exposed. Vulnerable. Like something was out there.  _

 

_ You’d never felt this way when Gabriel was with you. _

 

_ “What’s wrong?”  His voice tumbled through the darkness, causing emotions to swell in your chest.  For a brief moment your sleep heavy mind forgot. Your nerves roared to attention, your entire being lighting up as his hand rubbed soothingly along the curve of your hip.  You rolled over, clinging to his frame, head buried in the crook of his neck as you threw a leg across him. You couldn’t be close enough to him, this effervescent being full of light.   _

 

_ But the body you clung to was distant, chilled, and the chuckle that emanated was anything but bright.  “I told you, you’d want this.”  _

 

**_Not him_ ** _ , you realized, the aches across your body singing a soft chorus of whose touch lingered now.   You blinked back tears, fighting just to breathe as your chest began to cave beneath a familiar despair.   _

 

 _He_ _was gone and never coming back._

 

_ Maybe you deserved this.  Maybe you didn’t deserve him.  How insignificant and unworthy were you for him to leave with barely a goodbye and no explanation? _

 

_ You took a shuddering breath, your sorrow slipping past your lashes, striking the god’s chest the way you wished you could with your fists. _

 

_ “Saeta…”   _

 

_ You expected him to be condescending.  Mocking. His disdain you could have handled, but the softness in his tone was more poisonous than any serpent or snide remark.  _

 

_ “I’m sorry,” he murmured, stroking your hair.  “I will never leave you. I will take care of you.  You will never need to call upon another for anything so long as I’m around. You deserve better, and I will give it to you.” _

 

He had.  He had given you  _ everything _ , and yet you still couldn’t let go.

 

Maybe you didn’t deserve either of them.  

 

“I know that look,” a voice materialized behind you, familiar hands sliding up your arms before resting on your shoulders.  “What’s wrong?”

 

You glanced up, watching in the reflection above you as his gaze followed yours.  His arms wound around your waist and you sagged back against him, allowing his body to fold around you as he rested his chin on your shoulder.  The view was almost picture perfect; an illusion of a happy couple, but if you looked close enough, you could see that both your stares were too jaded for it to be convincing.

 

You frowned, finally able to put the lingering unease you’d always felt into words.

 

“I feel like they’re watching me.”

 

_ A soft flicker pierced the darkness, a square window of light emanating from beneath a dust covered sheet.    _

 

He released a sigh.  Though to his credit, he held back from telling you how how ridiculous you were. “We could always go play in the shower.”

 

_ The cloth slipped, diving of its own volition to the floor below, revealing a single image replicated over and over again from a variety of angles.   _

 

The way his hands were already fisting the sides of your dress, there was no way you were going to make it to the suggested location.  He nudged your head to the side, gaining access to your neck where he began to blaze a hungry trail with his mouth. 

 

_ A chorus of grunts and groans echoed obscenely from it, punctuated by the occasional moan or sharp gasp.  A cadence of skin against skin kept an ever increasing beat, drowning out the steady in and out of unnaturally even, laden breaths.   _

 

You could see the command sitting in his gaze, echoing in every thrust that jarred the door to the bathroom.  He was different here, his need always hitting a fever pitch that pushed the fringe of something manic.  _ Tell me,  _ his touch murmured, fingerprints daubing red and regal, clearly marking the boundaries of his territory.  

 

“Stop fighting me, saeta,” he rasped.  “Give in…”

 

_ The area lit up a hellish shade as warding flared to life with warning. The writing had become faded, wearing away beneath the constant use.  All it took was a single line to break, and like dominoes it set off a chain reaction until most of the symbols had vanished.  _

 

_ There wasn’t enough energy left to tackle what lay beyond the small space.  Instead, a concentrated burst gathered, a ball of blue gathering like lightning before shooting straight into the single reflection that formed a kaleidoscope across the mirror.  _ ****

 

He was angry.  You could feel the searing energy buzzing beneath his skin, like a hornets nest on the verge of swarming.  You laid on top of him, chest to chest, your words hanging heavily in the silence between you. 

 

_ Either they go or I do. _

 

You could feel the empty spaces above you burning holes into your back.  You hadn’t meant to force his hand. You knew how much he despised it, but you had no choice.  

 

You’d seen something when the glass had shattered.  A flash of light followed by a heavy pull of dread that turned your chest to concrete and stole the breath from your lungs.  Something was there, hiding within the shards, but it was too disjointed, the image stretched across each piece like a puzzle that had been ripped apart.  

 

Whatever it was left you feeling cold.  Sick. Shaken.

 

All those sensations lingered, and everything culminated in a tempest that had your insides twisting into unbridled anxiety.  

 

“You’re angry,” you finally said, unable to take the frigid quiet any longer.  

 

His hands stirred from where they absently held you, fingers digging into the small of your back.  

 

“I’m angry at myself.” This wasn’t just another play of his hand.  This card was one he held close, one he hadn’t anticipated having to use by the way he quickly turned the tables. “Do you know why he left you?”

 

The distraction worked as you instantly tensed.  You had suspected the pagan knew more than he let on, but you never dared to ask.  There were a hundred different reasons you could come up with and a thousand different ways you used those thoughts to torture yourself.  To know, to bring silence to a riptide that refused to let you go, even if it drowned you, was welcomed after all this time. 

 

“To spend endless nights playing poker and partying with porn stars.”

 

You knew he was capable of being cruel, but this had nothing to do with his nature.  

 

“Because he values his freedom and wants above all else.”  The truth of the statement reached depths you hadn’t realized existed, drawing forth a spring of grief that had been left untapped.  “Because in the end, all he cares about is himself.”

 

_ He always felt your energy a moment before a prayer would reach him, like a burst of fresh air and brightness across his face.  Tonight it was the gentlest of caresses that almost went unnoticed beneath the veil of pain that blanketed his entire being.  _

 

**_“Those wings of yours are too bold for my liking, boy.”  The scent of holy oil filled his nostrils, making the limbs in question unconsciously twitch.  “After the stunt you pulled, I’m thinking extra crispy might be more to my liking.”_ **

 

_ He needed this.  To scrub the things from his mind he was too weak to ignore.  To give him a brief reprieve from the unending torment. To remind him he had a reason to fight.   _

 

You felt numb.  Empty. All your anger, your doubt, your sadness washed out with the revelation that you meant so little to him.  

 

Had you ever meant anything at all?

 

“I hate him,” your broken whisper reached places further than you could have imagined.

 

“Then let him go.”  

 

**_Lay it on me, sweetheart._ **

 

_ He didn’t care what you had to say.  He just needed to hear your voice.  _

 

**_I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough._ **

 

_ You sounded like you were talking across a great divide, as if the divine station through which everything filtered was losing reception.  He didn’t realize what was happening until you had already withdrawn, your presence sharply retracted beyond his ability to sense it existed.  Panic flared, prominent and fierce, and like a bright star collapsing on itself, he feared you had faded from existence.  _

 

_ Until he heard a final fleeting ghost of a prayer.    _

 

**_Goodbye_ ** _ ,  _ **_Gabriel._ ** __

 

_ *** _

 

You didn’t expect the god to stay.  You thought for sure once he got what he wanted, he’d be gone.  Days turned into weeks, and while you couldn’t get the images to leave your mind, you never once prayed to him, and Loki never left. 

 

Neither of you spoke of what happened that night.  You did your best to avoid it, not just because it was unpleasant, but because whatever,  _ whoever  _ it was, had been wrathful.  Absolute. Terrifying. 

 

For the first time, you realized you might actually need him.  

 

You knew it wasn’t over.  You couldn’t just erase the angel from your mind, but you found focusing on what you had in front of you was a start.  The more you bent to Loki, the more you found he yielded in return, until one night he touched you with a gentleness that bordered on maddening, a reverence and intimacy reverberating through every kiss and every caress.   For the first time, he didn’t take you but joined you, ulterior motives and agendas cast aside as he worshipped your name and being. He did what you had deemed impossible, and in the afterglow of your lovemaking, you reconsidered things you swore you never would.  

 

You snuggled closer to your god, his energy nestling beneath your skin in a way you’d never allowed before.  

 

“I know I don’t deserve you,” he murmured.  “I am a selfish, spiteful being. I will never be good enough for you, but you make me remember things I’d thought I’d forgotten.” 

 

“Is that why you’re different?”  The question slipped out before you thought better of it, earning you a quirk of his brow as he waited for you to continue.  “When we first met, you told me your fantasies were darker than I’d think.”

 

He chuckled, that low, unnerving noise that never failed to make something inside of you shudder.  

 

“Oh, my sweet little saeta, everything about my fantasies are dark.” His stare drifted up to the window, across picture frames and various panes of glass, taking in a broken image visible only to him that lay within every reflective surface.  

 

“I just save them for those who earn my wrath.”  


End file.
